did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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