Buhtt sex?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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