I want to walk on stilts...naked
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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