He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
