He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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