So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
