I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
