Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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