Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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