Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
