just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
