The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
