Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
