you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
