Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
