dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
