Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
