sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
