Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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