I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
