some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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