i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
