how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
