So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
