We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
literally had 100 drinks last night.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My vagina is officially offended.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
