so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
