so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
