her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
