so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
