I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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