Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
