it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
This is the high leading the old right now
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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