its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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