sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
