you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
