I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
