wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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