Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
