Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
