I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
