I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
