Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
