You can't motorboat a personality
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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