So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
