You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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