you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
