I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You smell like stripper and shame
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
