I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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