I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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