This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
