Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
