i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
